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Dating is all about finding the right puzzle piece that fits neatly with yours.

If you’ve met someone and decide that he’s not for you, proceed delicately.

It's the “reason why” part of the process that gets a little tricky. That's the part that saves the person from going crazy over-analyzing the cumulative 10 hours you spent together and trying to figure out what in the world he did wrong. So I made a list of 12 perfectly valid “reasons why” to go along with the “I can't do this” portion of your breakup.

I'm not a big fan of lying; I think it's bad karma.

Just come like 15 minutes early and have one drink if you feel like it.

No more than one, or else when he shows up, you'll forget the censored version of your breakup speech ("I'm not in a place for a relationship right now" or "I just need to focus on myself/my job/my cockatoo") and just blurt out the truth ("You can't keep your penis hard," "Your favorite show is , like your favorite show of ALL TIME.") Remember that dumping is sort of like a job interview — you need to present a certain version of yourself.

You might remember when Carrie Bradshaw, Manhattan’s Cosmo-drinking gal from ‘Sex and the City’, was broken up with on a Post-It note.

Those of us who saw that particular episode let out a collective gasp at the horror of it all.

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" you can't really say "I show up to work hungover and have so much crippling anxiety about booking my boss's hotel room and flight that I just hide forms in a drawer in my desk for months and hope I'm gone by the time they notice." But you also can't completely lie and say "I'm a perfectionist," because that's not true. Basically, tell as much of the truth about why you want to end it as you can without hurting the person's feelings to much. "I don't think we should see each other anymore" is pretty effective, although I've also found that "I have contagious old-timey hooker crotch rot" cuts the need for explanation by half. Stand your ground, even if they look like a hapless kitten staring into the oncoming light of a tractor-trailer, which is very likely. Since this is very likely the last conversation with this guy that you will ever have, and he is also half-hoping that you will get hammered enough to have sad but vigorous Bruce Springsteen-singing-"Glory Days"-esque Final Sex with him. If it happens way later on, it happens — but right now it's too fresh off the breakup to be healthy.

Maybe you guys aren't fully getting back together, but you're talking again and it's just too confusing for you to have this third party involved. He might be frustrated at first, but eventually he'll feel better knowing the reason you ended things wasn't anything he did.

Of course, if you really liked him, you'd find a way to make him a priority despite your busy work schedule.

It's like someone about to go into surgery, watching two doctors on have a soap-opera fight while standing over a person whose chest is cut open. It should be by whatever transportation you need to get home.

Grease up that escape hatch and sliiiiide right in. You definitely want to be sitting and prepared for the conversation — it'll throw you off if you show up late and frazzled and he's already there, waiting.




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Anyways, he's probably pretty trustworthy, because look below, at the stock photo girl he posted on his page! A lot of it is basic, but not SO basic that it hasn't kept hundreds and thousands of online daters from violating these EXTREMELY BASIC principles anyway. Make your message one that someone — anyone — could conceivably want to answer. Chiara Atik at How About We has an important checkpoint for that message you're about to send off: Does it PROVE you read the profile of the person you're sending it to? Because then he or she isn't going to respond (unless you are unreasonably hot, in which case, what's your deal? You might think your boilerplate message is a clever one, but anyone who's had an online profile for more than two weeks can seriously smell the arrival of one in her inbox.


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